


Everything Happens for a Reason

by FanaticA4Ev3r



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, I promise, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not a sports Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rated 'M' for later chapters, Slow Burn, i like that tag, is about ereri, it will get there, not about school life fic, well-just a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-02-10 19:30:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticA4Ev3r/pseuds/FanaticA4Ev3r
Summary: We met in wrestling practices, and from the moment I decided for some strange reason to answer all his shitty questions, he got stuck with me like glue. At first, I thought that the idiot had a 'let me save your poor and pathetic lonely soul' type of disposition, but after a while, his company didn't bother me that much. I think that deep down what I needed and, of course, without my knowledge, I wanted to be saved.*** This is a love story which, in order to understand the meaning, many obstacles must be overcome. ***Fic was created in 2014. Deleted and Edited in 2017. The essence of my idea is still there and I hope you enjoy it better and I want to thank everyone that gave the first version a chance.





	1. PART I -Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ******READ ME FIRST*****  
> This is just a Fic that I wanted to do since I'm a Fan. This work is not beta (don't know how to do that anyway) and English is not my first language. So please forgive me if any errors.  
> Finally, I don’t owe any SNK characters (obviously) just the idea that it was inspired by the AWESOME Fics bookmark on my page and also thanks to my OBSESSION with ERERI/RIREN. I thought of this as therapy to help me get over my obsession (yeah, I know…I'm so screwed and I am going to hell) ☺ Please enjoy ☻  
> ******HOW TO READ THIS FIC******  
> -Levi and Eren scenes will start with their name in bold and have this symbol ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞  
> -POV's will have this symbol ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~  
> -Thoughts and words to help emphasize a sentence will be in Italic  
> -Mini Fics (as I call them) will be added to help with the plot and will have a heading in CAPS, they will also have the above POV symbol/s to help understand who's POV's it is.  
> I hope is not confusing ☺ Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lame beginning. I know the characters will feel OOC, but then again, I am playing a different time where there is not as much ‘angst’ in their life…YET. Is their ‘beginning’ in this fic and the introduction… stay with me, if you want ERERI it will get there, thanks.

  **PART 1-** **The Reasons Why We Are Friends.**

 

**LEVI**

 

"Hey, wait ... what if they catch us? I'm not ... well, I guess you were ri---" He was babbling and I just stared at those big green eyes that for some damn reason always managed to hypnotize me and I was not sure if what I wanted was to kick the idiot or just leave him alone. But of course! As always, I just gave up. 

 “Look, shitty brat, we already talk about this and you have to stop fucking whining and hurry the fuck up!” All I got was his usual stupid grin, I rolled my eyes, and we left to do whatever the hell he had planned for the day.  Later that day we tried to get to our usual bus stop before school ended and where the brat's sister and childhood friend always waited for him. I thought we had made our little escapade and we'd managed to return at the same time all the others were out. We were acting like the fucking perfect little angels once approaching our desired destination, but as our luck would have it, the moment I saw his sister's face and his mushroom friend behind her… I knew it, we had already been discovered.

Mikasa immediately asked Eren about his classes and when we (yes, it's always us) get into trouble, is because the brat's ears always turns tomato red and the reason is that the idiot has no idea how to lie or hide, better yet, tries to hide whatever shit he does and is not supposed to.  I'm not sure why the little fucker always does that, but going back to our dilemma, we didn't have any escape plan and as usual I kept the same bored expression and decided to look the other way, seriously, I'm not sure why I'm friend with the shithead in the first place. 

"Well, Eren I'm waiting; don't you have something to tell me?" Mikasa remained with her cold expression, patiently waiting for the brat to respond "I-I can explain it to you" he started, stuttering, but before he could say anything else she turned to me practically in my face, "I know this is your fault! I've told you more than a thousand times what if..." She was interrupted when we both heard Eren yelling "I asked him to do it. It was all my idea! Levi even tried to stop me and I told him that I would go with or without him.”

She looked at him, then at me "I don't believe it" her typical response. "The fuck I care" I mumbled. "It's true" that was when Armin spoke, I had already forgotten that blondie was there, bless his little soul. "I was there when they were talking... and well-" she gave him a cold look and sighed with annoyance and didn’t allow the boy to finish what he wanted to say. She then grabbed Eren by the arm, practically dragging him and grumbling that they would finish their 'conversation' at home. The three of them left in the direction of the bus stop and the brat simply muttered the words "I'm sorry and thank you" to me.

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

The brat (as I like to call him only because it annoys the crap out of him) was a skinny sixth-grade student when I first met him and I had just been transferred to his school. I was in eighth grade, I had no friends, didn't bother to make any, and I didn't care. I liked to be left alone and I wanted to be alone, of course, everyone understood that point with only a cold expression and a badass attitude. However, the brat was always different and I'll be honest, in the beginning, I didn't tolerate his presence. He was always surrounded by friends, always honest, good at school, sports and most importantly he was always surrounded by girls, when they were by his side they all looked like those damn annoying flies desperate to get to the honey.

We met in wrestling practices, and from the moment I decided for some strange reason to answer all his shitty questions, he got stuck with me like glue. At first, I thought that the idiot had a 'let me save your poor and pathetic lonely soul' type of disposition, but after a while, his company didn't bother me that much. I think that deep down what I needed and, of course, without my knowledge, I wanted to be...saved.

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

"Listen Eren, the next time you do something like this I don't plan to cover for you. And I will make sure to tell mom and dad" Mikasa was furious, but she had covered my escapade and also had prevented our parents from finding out. "I don't want you going out with that short excuse of a person" she continued or better say kept demanding “I'm telling you, he is not a good influence on you ... we still have no idea who the hell he is. Where he is from or what the hell he’s even thinking... He's creepy and weird and I don't know why our parents allow you to be his friend" and to emphasize her point she ended up banging her fist against the table and I know that this is not the first nor the last time I'm going to hear about it.

I was sitting in the same place, by the dining table, where she told me that I had to stay once we got home and so that I could listen to all her repeated 'suggestions'.  When was I sure that she had already exposed said suggestions it was my turn to talk "Can I talk now? Are you done? First of all, thank you for all your help and you didn't have to, but thanks anyway. Secondly, as I told you before, I was the one who had the idea to ditched school because I felt like it and Levi had nothing to do with that" taking a deep breath and imitating her earlier attitude I proceeded "Whether you choose to believe me or not depends on you. And third, but most importantly, Levi is and he will always be my friend with or without anyone's permission." once I had finished and before she started to say anything else, I stood up and started heading to my room "That is all I have to say, so now, if you'll excuse me I'll go to my room and I will copy Armin’s notes" with that said and also avoiding any visual contact with her, I left. 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

Everything went perfect, the day came out as planned (well, part of the day). I was bored and I wanted the kind of excitement when you do something that you are not supposed to and the best part was that I was able to enjoy it with one of my best friends. I was surprised when Levi rejected my idea and tried to get me out of it, is the kind of reaction I would get from Armin…don't get me wrong I appreciate  Armin, as a brother, but he always is... well, too well behaved and in all honesty, I am too. But from the moment I met Levi, it was a turning point in my life, not only because it was difficult for me to become his friend, but because he became a very important person for me and all I knew and wanted was always to be by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This FIC was created in 2014 and I deleted it because I wasn't too happy that my idea was not all there. However, I edited the story in 2017. The essence of my idea is still there and I hope you enjoy it better and I want to thank everyone that gave the first version a chance.


	2. PART I -Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- TIME JUMP –
> 
> Levi and Eren are still managing their friendship and discovering their true feelings will take them some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, hope you are not bored. The first few chapters are sort of boring since their about building the plot. I promise it will all make sense (I think) but for now, this is the way I want to leave the chapter.

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

"Are you going to miss me?" Eren asked me for the hundredth time when I was preparing the things I needed for high school and I could have sworn I heard a tone of concern and also an anticipation of my answer. "What are we brat?..." I stopped before finishing what I wanted to say "... we'll still see each other after school and for fuck's sake it's not like you're going to be all alone you have a fucking ton of friends."  Deep down I knew that wasn't the reason for his concern, but then again, I wasn't going to assume.

"Yes, I know that! But what about you?" I stopped what I was doing to look at him and his expression said that he needed to be where I was to protect me, I'm not sure from whom or for what. I chuckled. "Don't worry about me. You of all people know perfectly well that I can take care of myself," and I said it to reassure him, to make him feel better. All day he had been in a bad mood and he seemed to be constipated.  "I know that too... You know I can't wait to finish school and get to high school" he said between murmurs while he moved from the door where he had been standing to approached my bed to get more comfortable "two more years" he finished with a harsh exhale after he was completely lying down on the bed.

I tried my best to not look at him the whole time we were together, that was practically all day because he had to 'help me get things organized’ and I know that if I did look, I was going to tell him that I would miss his stupid jokes, his constant babbling about any damn little thing or idea that he had and for that reason I preferred to avoid it. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. I also had to convince myself that we would get to see each other after school and on weekends, but that is much easier said than done.

"Don't tell me little shit. You’ve already managed to date all the girls in school and can't wait to 'meet' the ones in high school" when I finished my comment he scoffed giving me yet another stupid grin “Yes, of course. You'll leave some for me, right?" and when he was done with his comment it was my turn to scoff.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

When Eren asked me if I was going to miss him, the only word I couldn't bring myself to say was, yes. Even before, I always had a constant battle with myself as to not let anybody getting close and yet this green eyes' brat was always there, close to me. 

The end of the school year had approached. I was going to high school and despite the fact that the buildings were a short distance away, in some ways that meant that I wasn't going to see him as much, but once I thought about it, maybe being in different buildings meant that I could finally achieve my goal and put the distance that I needed since I met him. Because the desire to be alone was not different from before or, rather, I had many more reasons why that desire had become stronger.

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

"This is a joke! He will be crushed in no time" we were in one of our first wrestling practices and our coach had introduced us the new eighth-grade student. The majority of the team gave a restrained giggle at the comment said by the dickhead that was famous for not being at all discreet. While we looked in the direction where the new boy was standing; he had a deadly gaze that for some reason hit us all at once.

Our trainer waved her hand to keep the short guy from saying or doing something when she proceeded. "You guys see me laughing? You all know me very well and I never joke when it comes to choosing the best for our team, but I think I was wrong to choose some of you" when she said those words, she was looking at all of us and no one in particular.

"You" she said and this time pointing to the idiot who had spoken and who happened to be the strongest and the tallest of all of us, he was also an eighth grader and was our school champion on his weight class "Come here, and you too Levi" and the boy, Mark, was his name; he just looked at our coach with amazement and I think he didn't know if he should move or stay.

"You, I said... COME HERE!" She yelled at the imbecile who still hadn’t move from his spot "I'll kill him! ... Coach, I don't want to be responsible for the hospital bills or his funeral ... it's not fair to my parents" he replied with a smug look while he had finally approached where our coach wanted him. Meanwhile, the rest of us froze and we all waited for our coach's response. "Don't worry, if something happens, I'll make sure ..." and while she was talking, she had both of them ready for their positions. And with her signal and before she finished her sentence in less than two seconds we saw Mark completely immobilized, struggling, and the boy with his knee on his chest. In the meantime, she finished by saying "... Levi doesn’t hurt you."

I clearly remember seeing the new boy's face and not being able to look away from his smile, it was full of pure satisfaction. And it was _that_ sideways smile that was enough to tell the guy to go fuck himself without using a single word, and I'm not sure if someone else noticed it, but for some reason it makes me shiver every time I think about it. 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

The first time I met him, I was… impressed, for the lack of a better word. I supposed everything began with admiration. He didn't have to say anything to get his point across and although he was shorter than most of us, that didn't mean that he was going to take shit from anyone.

I did everything I could to get close to him during the first weeks, and the first time we spoke he answered a few questions, but after that, he avoided me or simply ignored me. After a while, even Armin advised me that the best thing to do was to leave him alone. But I just couldn't do that, the more he tried to get away, the more I tried to get closer.

The only thing I thought was that no one should be left alone and I made a promise that sooner or later he would become my friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and stay tuned! I will be posting another chapter soon. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome \\(^-^)/


	3. PART I -MINI FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- TIME JUMP –  
> Moving away to college and trying to realize Eren's real feelings is something that Levi wanted to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first one of the mini fics and is different from the previous chapters since is only POV's. Again, is to help with the plot. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope is not too confusing.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

**LEVI**

 

**_DOUBT_ **

 

Soon I will be going to college and the reason why that’s a surprise is, in fact, that pursuing a professional career was something that never crossed my mind.  Before that, I didn't give a shit about where my life was heading and it was a brat with big green eyes that had been able to achieve the only thing that was not in my plans -to _be able to feel that something matter_ -and everything started with guilt.

 

After seeing the pain in those eyes when I was practically shouting in his face to leave me the fuck alone is something that I will regret for the rest of my life. I didn't give a damn about anything or anyone, and much less I cared if people got their feelings hurt because of something I had said or done. There was a particular moment where I remember being involved in a heated argument with Eren’s sister and a few days later I couldn't stop myself from doing something that I had never done ... I apologized. I was surprised when he immediately treated me as if nothing had happened and it was from that moment on that the brat and I became… friends? I can’t say the same about his sister.

 

The idea of calling someone friend was not easy for me at the beginning because every time Eren introduced me as such, I used to cringe a bit, but the time we spent together during middle and high school made us become closer.  And it was during that time where I learned about my true feelings towards him. Feelings that had begun from the moment I met him and maybe that was one of the reasons why I didn't want him close and then again for letting him get close.

 ** _Doubt_** started to rose every time we talked about me leaving for college, especially when I saw sadness and the fact that he always avoided or changed the conversation on the subject. I had this constant question, _what if he has the same kind of feelings towards me._ And without pushing or exceeding some boundaries, I decided to put my doubt to the test.

The perfect opportunity appeared when he asked me to take him to a college party where you could only attend with an invitation. I didn't feel like going, because the idea of going to a place with sweaty brats, alcohol, filth and who knows what the fuck else never appeals to me, but I'd been invited and I also knew a particular person who was especially interested in the brat.

-

"Did you bring your friend?" she asked and I pointed. Eren hadn't realized that we were talking about him while he had gone to get a drink "he's gorgeous!" she said without taking her eyes off him and I didn't bother to respond, shortly after that and just like a cheap high school movie playing in front of my eyes, I witnessed everything; when she approached him, when they started talking, when she put her arms around his neck and got closer to his ear and for a moment I could have sworn he knew that I was watching them.

 

I kept the same cold and boring expression that I always have with my arms crossed, leaning against the wall and before me the scene of them continuing with their 'talk'. After a few minutes I saw how they began to kiss or, rather, to devour each other _"shit, the brat works fast"_ I thought and I didn’t move or do anything to show that it really bothered me and once again, for a split second, I saw him ... he was looking right at me and I knew that was exactly what he wanted, wishful thinking perhaps, the little shit was expecting some kind of reaction on my part?

 

When they'd finally decided to go look for a private place. I let a couple of minutes passed and before I could reason, I went to look for them. I was still hoping to find out that he was just putting on a show but when I found them and I approached...

 

 _Fuck_ ,

 

I was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to make this chapter too short, but I'm posting the fourth chapter today. I want to keep the mini fics separated ☻


	4. PART I -MINI FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's real feelings and a very confusing ... dream????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MINI FIC
> 
> I'm posting the fourth chapter since I want both POV's together to follow the same format as normal chapters.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

**EREN**

 

 **_DRINKS,_ ** **_A_   _KISS_ ,  _AND_ A DREAM?**

I received a phone call from a woman around eleven o'clock at night telling me that my friend had insisted for her to call me. It was Levi’s number and I was sure that he would never do something like handing anything personal to _anyone_. When I finally got all the information I needed from the woman, I went to look for him.

-

"Eren, brat... What the fuck! You finally got here. I have someone I want you to meet, she's fucking gorgeous- just like the ones that, well- you know" he tells me raising an eyebrow, it was obvious to me that he was drunk and for everyone else he might've looked normal, like he hadn’t had a mixture of whiskey or vodka with who knows what fucking else in the last three hours he had been in here.

"Tell me, what happened? Why are you here?" I was worried about Levi especially about the way he was acting "tch, shithead, what does it look like... I'm celebrating that I'm going to college! As you already know in less than a week, I'll be busting my ass with books and any other college shit that comes along... Fucking great, isn't it!?

"If you had told me, I would have help you celebrate," I said while trying to get him out of the place "hmm ... you're a brat" he answered, letting me take him out, I was practically holding him with my arm around his waist and he was supporting his weight with his arm around my neck. "I can’t go in life corrupting you brat, especially two times in the same month because Mikasa would kill me. She already hates me as it is." I couldn't respond to that because it was true, unfortunately, the circumstances in which he and my sister met were not the best because when she saw him for the first time, he was pressing me against the locker while shouting in my face 'to leave him the fuck alone.'

They had a bit fight because of it; it looked like a shouting match between titans, neither of them gave up. He didn't treat her as if she was a guy, of course, but he didn't let her intimidate him, not an easy task. The fight ended until one of our teachers decided to intervene in sending them to the principal's office. A few days later he apologized to us and when he did, I felt he had been sincere, but my sister is not the kind of person that forgives so easily. The positive thing that I can say now is that thanks to that incident, he had finally allowed me to get closer.

"Well Levi, let's finish this celebration in my house, my parents are out of town and Mikasa is spending the night at her friend's house" I suggested once we were inside the car "fine" was the only thing he said. The way home was silent, 'he's n _ot himself'_   I kept thinking because I had never seen him in that state and all kinds of things were going through my head, even when he'd said he was 'celebrating' I was still looking for some kind of explanation for his behavior.

 

-

 ** _Drinks..._** he muttered while checking my fridge and looking for some beers "Here, take one because you are at home and I will not feel bad if you pass out," he was handing me a bottle and I took it, making me chuckle a little to his comment since he knows very well my low resistance to alcohol. "This is to wish you good luck in your new college life." I said raising the bottle "Cheers!" We both said.

 "This has been a trip kid, and before I forget… I want to tell you that you helped me a lot" that was another surprising comment from Mr. Stoic when we had finally settle in the living room to drink our beers. 

"Umm ... I haven't done anything special" I honestly told him. 

"Well, then ... you'll never know" he added as he began to drink his beer. 

"What? Please do tell, am I supposed to know I'm special to you?" I teased him because the beer was already making me feel bold and he scoffed. 

"Yes, brat, when you let someone stick to you like glue, that's more or less what it means, right." and what he was saying to me sounded more like a fact than a question, but interpreting his words, I could have sworn that he was confessing?

 _'Shit. He's my friend. He's shit drunk and he has no idea what the hell he's saying,_ ' I choose to think.

After a few hours and couple more beers, we were talking about nonsense regarding school and friendship. I know he has a great tolerance for alcohol, but it was the first time that I could tell that he was close to his limit by adding the mix of drinks he had before.

"The woman who called you ... I know that's the kind of woman you like." Levi suddenly commented, changing the topic of our conversation "She came on to me, but I told her that you were better and well, that’s why I gave her your number. You can thank me later brat" and I never thought I would ever hear those words coming from him, he had never made any suggestions about girls to me and I must admit, I was surprised.

"Thanks, I guess, but I don’t think I'm going to go out with her" was the only thing I could answer.

"Damn it Eren, I didn't say go out with her. I meant the kind you like to... fuck" and this time I definitely couldn't believe what I was hearing "I'm not going to fuck her either, besides, she's not my type" and I said it with a little anger in my tone, it bothered me to hear him say that.

"What's your type brat?" He had a confused look maybe because he hadn't expected that kind of reaction on my part. "Oh... wait, I know you don't have any type of woman because you don't discriminate." and he smirked at that, but before he allowed me to answer he leaned closer to me "listen, I-I have some confessions to make and fuck... if you get mad at me I... but I have to tell you."

"Go ahead. I'm all ears," I told him trying to keep myself in check since I had no other choice, 'he's _drunk',_ I kept thinking even though for some reason his words were making my heart skip a beat. He was silent for a few more seconds and I thought that maybe he had decided not to say anything when he bluntly said: "I thought you might be att-no, umm...gay."

"..."

"You, what?” It took me a couple of seconds to let his words sink in and I was also trying to gain composure as to not choke myself with the drink. Talk about bad timing. I didn't know what to say. How did he? When did he?....

 _'Oh fuck. No'_  I thought.

"..."

Fuck! this was IT, wasn't it? I was afraid of the outcome, but this was _the moment_ and it was only room for one thing to do... consequence be damned? I had to say something. N _ow._

“ **…"**

“Levi, what you, wait...what I-"

"I know you're not a brat, so stop looking like I gave you your death sentence or some other shit!" Levi looked conflicted and I'm sure it was because my face had the reddest shade of color, he probably didn't know what to make of it. Was this- _it- f_ or me, for  **us**... and before anything else was said I heard him give a harsh exhaled "I haven't finished" he proceeded "I have another confession to make" and for me that was the moment I wanted to say stop, but without my consent, my head was already nodding for him to proceed.

"Do you remember the party you dragged me to, the one from college?" I nodded again, my throat still wasn't cooperating and at that moment I was already sweating cold "I saw you kissing the girl... She was the one who invited us." I let out a sigh of relief that I hadn't realized I was holding "Levi, for a moment I thought-" I started once I had finally found my voice and he abruptly interrupted me "that's not it brat I- here goes -  I followed you"

“What? Follow? Where?" Levi leaned much closer and continued in a low voice giving me the impression that he didn't want anyone else to hear even though we were the only ones in the house. "I guess... I still had a doubt and what I wanted was to make sure. So, when I saw you two go upstairs, I waited and after a little while, I went up making sure that no one noticed me and...Well, that's... when I heard-" he was silent for a moment probably trying to say something that I was sure I didn't want to hear.

"You, damn brat. You must be...fuck, let's just say that's what - that's what convinced me."

Great. I was right.

My face was bright red because I could also feel the heat "You did what! What the hell!" Levi continued with his drink, ignoring my frustration and obviously not caring that I was having a heart attack. "Listen to me Eren, I _am_ sorry as I told you before, I honestly thought that you were putting a show and I just wanted to make sure" when I saw his brows furrowed, I wasn't sure if that meant that he still had doubts.

"You wanted to make sure that I- and you were listening to- haven’t you heard of asking a person in the first place…fuck, fuck you!”

"Why the fuck are you getting so stress about shithead?" It's not like I was looking... I wasn’t- I swear.  And I didn’t stay to listen to the whole show, believe me, I'm not one of those weirdos who enjoys listening to how other people fuck" and when he was telling me all that I was rubbing my face trying to erase the expression on his face, and while at it, I was also trying to clean my ears from what I had just heard.

"Besides," he continued, "I will be leaving soon and we are not going to see each other for a long time. I just want to apologize for any wrongdoing on my part." and when he mentioned that he was leaving, it hit me, my anger was banished like magic, not only because I had been avoiding the subject, but because I was sure that we wouldn't see each other. I felt a lump starting to form in my throat; I still didn't know how to react to that fact. I was afraid that he would forget me, I often thought that he would meet someone, fall in love and only the idea of that ... it was better not to think about it and I decided that the best thing was to enjoy the few days we had.

After accepting his apologies, we stayed talking a little longer and like at the beginning, we were just enjoying a meaningless conversation and finishing the rest of the beers. A little later we had a little tiff about who was going to sleep where he took the sofa and I went to my room.

-

I woke up hours later, I got up and went in search of some water. The first thing I thought was how long I had been out and on the way to the kitchen and still feeling drunk disoriented, I saw him. Levi was on the sofa completely passed out. I couldn't help chuckling at the thought, about what had happened earlier, he was acting so out of character that felt so surreal, like a dream.

I couldn't help but to go where he was and decided to sit on the floor, closer to his face to study his features  _'Levi, you are so beautiful... and to think that I  was so close to telling you and  after today I won't  have another chance to be able to share my true feelings for you' I thought and_ with pain in my heart and with a soft voice, I continued: "I also have some confessions to make you know, the first one is that only you are my type and at that night, in that party - I knew that you were watching us - I foolishly try to make you jealous and when you ignored me, it hurt a lot and that's when I decided to give up on you.  But fuck it, because when I was with her, I only thought of you.  I wished that she was you. My second confession is that although it hurts to see you leave now, I will not leave you, even if you only look at me as a friend and will never return my feelings, I will do anything to be close to you."

After confessing my true feelings and before doing something stupid I got up when I felt a hand grabbing my wrist. When I looked down I found a pair of silver eyes intensely staring at me, at that moment, I felt their intensity going right through me.  I felt like fainting and before either one of us said anything, we just looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but all my thoughts were about whether he had heard my confessions.

"Promise me you will not forget me" Levi was the first to speak.

"Huh?" was all I could answer.

"Eren, promise me that if you find someone and you get married, at least you'll think of me brat because chances are... I'm not going to your wedding. But if you promise me that you'll think of m-" I didn't let him finish because what I wanted and what I needed to do was stronger and without thinking twice I grabbed the hand holding my wrist and in the blink of an eye all I know is that I was pressing my lips to his, at first it was a soft kiss, it tasted like _mint,_ when I felt that he answered and deepened the kiss, the air was knocked out of my lungs, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

-

 ** _A kiss_ …** woke up confused and sweaty, my breathing was harsh and my head splitting in two. I didn’t know where I was. ‘W _hat the fuck’_   I thought once everything came back to me. Thinking of what had happened... I ran to the living room and he wasn't there, I called for him and like crazy and searched the whole house. When I got to the kitchen the smell of coffee overwhelmed me and finally, I found a note on the table.

 

_'Brat, thank you for letting me crash your house at night. I didn't want to wake you up; I made a coffee for you and tea for me. PS, I cleaned the mess we left last night, we'll talk soon. Levi’_

 

_-_

_**A dream ...**_  i _t_ couldn't be, but I had to realize after so much debate. I asked myself one, two, three, thousands of times. I wanted to call him and ask, but I was risking an explanation of something that I wasn't prepared to talk about. I tried to remember last night events and there were many missing pieces in between and one of them was to find out how in hell I made it back to my room. Was I that drunk? But it didn't feel like it. The only thing clear in my mind was our kiss, our first kiss, and thinking about it hurt me more than I could possibly imagine and it's not supposed to feel that way, but I reluctantly accepted that it had only been _a dream._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is long. Sorry, but I had a lot of esplaining to do \\(^-^)/
> 
> C U SOON.


	5. PART I -Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- TIME JUMP - 
> 
> College years, questions, feelings, and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Moving my favorite couple to their college years, because why not! They are together again after a few years apart and of course, there will be an explanation in later chapters. If you feel that there are missing pieces (is intentional). 
> 
> Hope not to disappoint ☻

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

 

"Tell me, why is it so fucking hard to tell me what happened?" A challenging look in his eyes and the only thing in my mind was when was the damn time I'd thought that it was a good idea to talk to him in the first place.

 

"Don't be an ass ... I want to know. Look, I tell you everything that happens to me and it's not fair that you keep everything for yourself. Hello!! Are you listening to me!?" I was upset; I knew perfectly well that the shitty brat wasn’t going to let me go back to my room until his damn curiosity was satisfied. I had had a long day, not only did I have to go to class, do homework, but I also had to work and I didn't have the patience to listen to the annoying brat who was literally asking me thousands of damn questions in less than a minute.

 

“Kid, why in HELL every fucking time a woman ask me out, you always know before me?” I asked the guy standing in front of the door which was my only way out.

 

“The hell I know,” his bright answer.

 

“Is it my fault that they found you fuckable, besides, they come and ask me to fucking ask you and I always say to them… go fucking ask yourself. I’m not his pimp!”

 

I began to pinch between my eyes and nose feeling the beginning of a migraine. I was sitting on Eren's bed trying to conjure as much patience as possible. "Don't you think that the same thing happens to me when they come to ask for you", he gives me a mocking smile and in a lower tone responded "it's not my fault that everyone finds me fuckable too", then with a few slow steps much closer to my personal space, he began murmuring in my ear "Don't think that you will leave without answering my questions and stop trying to distract me ... is not going to work"

 

 _'Fuck'_  I thought.

 

"Well, yes, she did and no, nothing happened because I didn't go out with her!" I gave her the same damn response I give to all the women, girls or aliens who tried to make me go out on a date with them since high school, and that is, I'm NOT INTERESTED! Are you happy now?"

 

"Yes, thanks."

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

Soon I will graduate from college and now everything in my life is a routine starting from getting up at the crack of dawn to go to school, then go to work and in between those daily tasks, I am also in constant communication about everything I do with this idiot that I can only call a friend. We have other friends, of course, but most of the time we spend it together and that began, again,  when he came a few years ago to the same college that I am attending. I wasn't the least surprised when I saw him standing at my door telling me that he was staying in one of the dorms at the building next to mine. I knew that sooner or later he was going to get where I was.

-

  
We or rather I sometimes had to go out with some of Eren’s friends who had also attended our high school, among them I could recognize the eternal couple, Connie and Sasha, annoying little bastard. Also, the two who always stood out was a petite blonde Christa and a tall weird one named Yamir, those two were fucking inseparable before, apparently nothing had changed from what I could see. And there were others that I can recall their names. I was practically obligated to them all the time, but the good thing is that they were already used to my moods, apart from all of us knowing each other from before, the difference now was that in all our gatherings they were always talking or making bets on which of their "hot classmates" Eren would be able to score.

I didn't give a shit and I didn't participate in their so-called "games" and when the brat went out on his famous dates it bothered me, but every time I remember that we are friends, I put said feelings aside. Lately he was hanging out with girls almost every weekend and I was often biting my tongue before telling him not to go out with the girl (whichever was at that moment) he was so fucking popular since high school and I hated it and that feeling was getting stronger more now than ever, I was jealous, fucking jealous and knew that I had to do something before making a fucking mess in our friendship.

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

 

"So, are you going to work on Sundays too?" And I had to ask.

"Yes brat and another thing, I'll stay late today because I wasn’t able to finish my homework and once I finish with work I'll go straight to my room ok" Levi was giving me another of his excuses while he was finishing getting ready for work "I can bet you that there is someone out there already waiting for you to call for a date _or_ if you want you can also call one of your buddies to keep you company, but knowing you, option number one is always the best, I am right?" he smiled looking at my direction or better say, pretending, that he was looking at me.

“Levi, do you have-do you have someone? Are you dating anyone? Be honest, please" these were questions I hadn't dared to ask them before because I was really afraid of knowing the answers. But they came out without me having any control. I blame it to the idea that he was putting distance between us, so they simply slipped. 

"What?"

_Is he nervous?_

"No ... I-we, it's better if we talk later kid. Is really getting late for me and I have to go...I will see you later" and that was all he said as he made his way to the door, looking at the clock and gesturing to showed that he was in a hurry.

 He was nervous.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

Levi spends most of his time working, studying and doing whatever many other things and with so many excuses for each of them, especially whenever I suggested to go out with our friends or just spend an evening together, as usual. I had decided not to think about what was really happening, but I was beginning to get fucking frustrated and angry with the idiot who didn't have time for me anymore and for that reason every time that some girl had asked me out on a date, I didn't refuse. And like always the same thing happened every time I dated, half of the time absolutely nothing happened and the other half I didn't even care about them.

This is Levi’s last year in college and after his graduation, he’s going to dedicate himself much more to his work or any other things that come his way. And that means that we wouldn't have enough time to spend together, not the way we’re used to... I already had made peace with that fact, but I never imagined that those _things_ would be happening this soon.  He told me that he had volunteered to work on weekends, apparently, the business for which he works is doing very well and is in need of additional help. Since all these changes are happening between us, is getting very difficult for me to continue pretending, to hide my feelings.

I'm terrified of losing him just because I couldn't tell him the truth.

_My truth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading if you got this far.... ?(>.<)¿


	6. PART I -Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is letting go and Eren's heart can't be fooled.

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

"Well, I’m very grateful that you finally have time for me today. I missed you yesterday."

 

"I'm sorry, is work and I also have a lot of homework, honestly, I'm tired, and I’ve hardly slept."

 

"I think it's better if you let me pamper you today. Let's meet for lunch, you have time right? Wait, no, scratch that I will not accept a no for an answer"

 

I chuckled, "I guess I have no other choice, am I right?"

 

"NOPE" 

-

At the end of the class, I was on my way for my lunch date when some brown mop of hair came towards me and asked if he could accompany me. I didn't answer him since he was already doing it. The day was nice and sunny but I sensed that something or rather someone was feeling under the weather.

"What did you end up doing yesterday?" I asked the pensive brat that hadn’t said a word to me during the last minutes since we had met.

"Nothing… I stayed in my room, cleaning all my crap, playing some video games and finishing homework."

"What? No date for 'Don Juan' that's very weird" Eren went silent again and he'd seemed to have a lot in his mind. He was probably thinking about some unfinished school work or some other shit he had 'done' with a girl and when I was going to ask if something was wrong, we both stopped when someone was approaching us.

"Levi, I saw you and I was on my way to meet you ... oh, HI!"

“Eren” I introduced him to Ivan once the latter had realized that I had company.

"Eren this is my friend Ivan and Ivan this is Eren" they both shook hands with a ‘nice to meet you,’ that they said at the same time.

"Ready?" Ivan asked me after an awkward pause.

"Yes, I'm starving," I told him being somewhat unsure how to act at the moment, this kind of situations were new to me and Eren hadn’t been acting like himself since the last time I saw him.  Before making the attempt to leave I waited a few more seconds to see if the brat would say something, but he didn't. And before the situation continued to feel a lot more uncomfortable for all of us I left with Ivan, not before saying goodbye to the brat followed by a see you later.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

On Sunday I had to work and Eren had asked me if I was dating someone and to be honest- _I felt fucking nervous_ \- I couldn't give him an answer he wanted at the time because it was really getting late for me to go to work, and I didn't want to have that conversation with him. Not without having the necessary time, especially with the kind of relationship that I was already involved.

I had, in fact, met someone. And I wasn't sure how to approach the subject with Eren, the main reason is that -is not the easiest conversation to have with my straight friend- a friend who had no idea of my preferences on that particular subject. I often wondered how he would react. I didn't think he would hate me because of my preferences and we never talked about ourselves as in those kinds of 'likes'.

I do like women, and I believe that love should be based on what the heart feels for the person regardless of gender, but that is my personal opinion on the matter.  The first crush-love-major pain of my life was a girl and she was my first _everything_ with all the meaning of that ten-letter word. Lately, every time I saw him celebrating with his so call girlfriends, going on dates with them and more or less looking for a life of his own was the reason why he made me think of that love from my past.  I also realized that I didn’t have the need for anyone in all these years because he was there, occupying all my time, my space and my life. That was not the case anymore.

It was time to move on.

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

 

 _“Ivan, Eren. Eren, Ivan”_  those words were an echo in my head and like a broken record they would repeat themselves again and again.

 

" _What the hell is going on_ " was the most predominant of my thoughts while the whole scene was playing right before my eyes.

 

" _Who the hell is this person?"_ I listened to them speak and I knew that they were strangely looking at me, but nothing made sense to me and something felt out of place.

 

" _Why did I just meet with this person or even hear his name for the first time?"_ and one question after another in my head and when they asked me something I didn't even bother to answer because despite us being in a short distance I was not paying attention to anything that they were saying.

 

" _Why is he looking at Levi that way_?" And like small pieces of a puzzle, images of our recent conversations came to me, and even though my heart began to beat uncontrollably, my brain suddenly became empty of questions without answers and suddenly the only thought was:

 

_“I knew it, I fucking knew it!”_

 

The only thing I could barely hear was "I'm starving and I'll see you later" I felt completely immobilized after the epiphany I had. I only watched when they turned around the building and somehow after they disappeared from my sight, I managed to walk.

I didn't want to know anything but at the same time, I knew everything. ' _This is incredibly stupid,'_ I thought, not only in the way that everything had happened, but also leave it to my fucking luck and in what _that_ meant for my life. When I finally managed to wake up from the state of shock I found myself, I was already inside my apartment building when I suddenly felt that my knees gave up. 

Fuck my life.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

I obviously didn't have to be a freaking psychic to know that I was losing the most important person in my life. The friend I had to fight for. The love I had to hide for so long.

He had started working on Sundays and also the messages, calls or conversations of any kind had decreased lately, before, when one of us was busy at some point of the day we sent text messages or made a quick call to give the other some type signal that everything was fine. But now I wasn't even trying to send him a text message or call him because I was upset since I was the only one reaching out, and also because the last time we spoke he clearly avoided answering my questions.

I am not an idiot as he refers to me sometimes. I am completely sure that his 'friend' is the biggest reason for such a drastic change in our relationship.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ¿(^-^)?
> 
>  
> 
> I’ll give you a heads up…..ERERI will get there.


	7. PART I -MINI FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- TIME JUMP –
> 
> Levi's choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second one of the mini fics is only POV's. Again is to help with the plot. ☺

**LEVI**

 

**OUR PAST, OUR PRESENT, AND OUR FUTURE**

 

 "That was incredible!"

 I looked up when I was tying my sneakers and I came across a sea of green? a pair of eyes that looked at me in amazement. I had seen green eyes before but that color was different and new to me and maybe it was my imagination, but they felt... warm.

 "No, there's nothing to be surprised-umm- brat" trying to cut the conversation I started walking.

 "Eren." he says following behind me "what?" I asked with a confused look.

 "My name is Eren" and I just gave him a look that said _I don’t fucking care_ without needing to say a word to him.

 "Where did you learn to do that?" the boy-uh- Eren continued and obviously he hadn't understood the hint that what I wanted was to be left alone and to make sure, I stopped "look kid, I..." and those eyes were on me again and for some reason they made me feel _nervous?_  a feeling that I had already forgotten. I turned around taking the decision right then and there as to not to have any visual contact with him anymore.

 "Well, are you're going to tell me? or it's a secret? oh, maybe you work for a special force in the military or something."

 “ _Fuck my luck,”_ I thought “ _why in hell he is following me.”_

 "I'm too fucking young for that! And how fucking old you think I am? Shithead!"

 “Wow… I'm sorry, but if you're not going to answer I don't see a problem guessing” At that time, I was starting to have fun with his obvious twenty questions game and decided to play along.

“For fuck's sake, someone trained me”

“Who? And can I learn too? Or can you teach me?”

“Someone who’s miles away from here, no and fuck NO”

“Ok then, where do you live? You are in eight, right? We can meet before classes and we can also walk to wrestling practices… if you want?”

“Not your business, yes, no and I don’t need to be walked. I already know the way.”

“Please, listen, I know that you are new here and I thought that maybe if we-" once again I had to stop since he was able to follow closely behind me, no matter how fast I walked, I couldn't shake the kid off. I was already angry and about to lose the little patience that I don't have, and for what it was about to be _the last time_ I looked straight in his eyes "listen to me brat, I don't fucking care and I don't fucking need anything from anyone. I already answered all your annoying questions. Now, go back to do your charity work or whatever shit is that you do somewhere else..." I told him in the clearest tone I could find and with a harsh exhalation to emphasize my point I finished "... and stop fucking following me!" 

-

Apologize.

That was something I didn't expect to do one day for having yelled at him, or better say, in his face, literally. That happened a couple of days after the first time we had met and once Eren accepted my apologies, the next thing that I least expected was that those green eyes began to follow me almost everywhere. After that and without realizing it, we started walking together to our practices after school, and then we began taking the bus home once we found out that we lived a few blocks away from each other. Finally, on several of those occasions when his sister or his blonde friend was not around, he would talk my ear off, in which my only answers were always,  _yes, no,_ or _ugh! fucking disgusting._

During the first two years of high school, I had to wait for the brat after school because it was part of a promise I had made one night when I lost my temper with said brat. According to the kid, it was more of a way to make amendments. The other part was that whenever we could we had to spend together an hour or so before going to our respective homes, which also included every other weekend. I was stuck with his company and when he finally reached me in high school, those years became another story.

 

-

“Got a date,”

he said one particular day on our way home. I rolled my eyes because it wasn't exactly something new and just responded sarcastically “Congratulations”

“What if she wants – sssssee-you know,  _it_ ” and this has to be a fucking joke and someone in this universe hates me so much that now I had to give the brat sex advise,  _great!_

 “What am I supposed to do?” He asked and I gave him my only expression of complete boredom and _why_  me? was the only thought that came to mind.

 "On the first date? I doubt-but nowadays, it could be possible.  Well, if she wants ‘it’ well fucking give' _it_ '” I chuckled.

“Fuck, Levi. You should be more specific” I could only let a sigh of frustration.

“I don’t have a fucking manual and neither I’m an expert on how the brats behave on dates, let alone fucking sex protocols"

“I’m sure you were a ‘brat’ yourself.  You should remember” he tells me in a mocking manner “is not the same shit-for-brains, because what works for me not necessarily will work for you,” I said it as a matter of factly.

“Have you?” and I had to answer and there was no use on lying “tch, yes brat and I was a lot younger than you.”

“What the fuck! How do– you-you know what…I don’t want to know” he finished and I scoffed.

According to Eren and his friends having dates was something crucial for popularity, especially in high school and he was no exception.  He didn't lose his virginity on his first date according to him,  _of course_ , he lost it after the end of the second year... his shitty excuse was that social pressure had a lot to do with it and I had to hear all about it.

 

-

 _Our past_ is something that I appreciate and for someone like me, my past, before knowing him does not exist. I chose to forget it or else my already dark soul would have been consumed. I've been thinking a lot about that past, where things were simpler and I didn't have to worry about sharing him because Eren was always there to help me. I especially remember all those little things like seeing that bright smile, listening to how different my name sounds when he calls me or how he laughs at my shit jokes that nobody gets. I guess, my way to best describe ‘us’ is like if I’m bound in the darkest of dungeons and he is the light that won’t let go and that keeps on brightening even though I keep trying to refuse it, extinguishing it so many times and failing in each attempt. And now I have no choice but to admit that without that light I wouldn’t be where I am today. 

 _Our present,_  many things have changed, we are different as well as everything that surrounds us, feelings are more real, more intense; we are drifting apart mainly because of me, I must admit. I have chosen my friend, I want his happiness to come first, I want to always see his smile and I'll be there for him whenever he needs me... but before that, I need to step aside, because if not, sooner or later my true feeling will be exposed and it will end up hurting him and that's the only thing I will prevent from happening at any cost.

  _Our Future,_  I see us as friends, both with our respective lives, enjoying a casual lunch here or there bringing us up to date.  I see him being very successful in everything he does, I also can't help but smile at the idea that he would proudly show me pictures of his kids and me telling him how good father he has become, and finally, my main desire is to feel that my heart does not have any regrets because, in the end, I made the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting two chapters today since they are POV's and I want to keep them separated.
> 
> If you got this far, thanks for sticking up with me \\(^.^)/


	8. PART I -MINI FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -TIME JUMP-
> 
> First fight and coping with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the second chapter. ☻

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

 

**EREN**

 

 **A PROMISE AND LITTLE WHITE LIES**  

 

"You are not going to talk to me anymore?" I was frustrated. I had asked him several times during the week what was wrong and he always avoided giving me an answer.

"I have some tests and I-" before he could say another word I blocked his way with me in front of him. I was determined to get an answer, the one I wanted and no more excuses because I couldn't take it anymore. I was done. "Well, then you and I will have a talk tonight. I will go to your house at the usual time and don't even think about refusing" and without waiting for an answer I left.

-

Later that night I went to Levi’s house and he was already outside waiting for me. I thought that I was going to hear one of his poor pathetic excuses to get out of our talk, but for once he didn’t.

“What is it that you want to talk?” Levi asked first.

“Hello to you too”, I answered and went straight to the point “what did I do wrong? Why are you avoiding me again?”

"I'm not avoiding you brat.  If you haven’t noticed we are at the end of the school year" feeling that Levi hadn’t said anything special, I only said "and" because it was not a question.

"And... I have tons of fucking homework, testing and we are preparing for high school too” Levi ‘explains’ keeping his well-known unexpressive eyes. I just rolled my eyes hardly believing what he was saying. I knew that there was something else. "Why I have to fucking explain everything to you anyway" he was lashing out, when I looked directly into his eyes I managed to see the same look he had given me once before, the one that simply said ‘leave me the fuck alone.’

"I don’t have to fucking explained what in hell I do or don’t to you or anyone else for that matter." Levi’s whole demeanor had changed as of late and I felt sad.

“I’m sorry. I thought that we-we were friends. Guess I was wrong.” was my response to his tantrum and it was obvious what was really happening and I didn’t feel like listening anymore.

“Listen to me brat, the best thing for you is to keep going with the friends you have,” Levi tells me and I was fighting to hide how hurt I felt without looking at him.

 "Fine, you win... you get your wish. I will not bother you anymore.”

“Why do you always do this? Why do you always make feel like shit?”

“You are the one who’s been treating me like shit” I simply told him and when I started to turn to go, I felt his hand grabbing me by the arm. "I have, I-I have to tell you some-" he started, but before I let him continue, I wanted to tell him how I felt first "I know how difficult it was for you to open up to me and I also know how hard you have tried. I don’t want to force my friendship on you anymore... If you don't want us to be friends, I get it.  I just want you to be honest and rather than avoid me just tell me, I'll understand."

-

 _A promise_... after our first fight, well, as friends anyways, he promised to do better. And as a form of punishment or amendment for the way that he had treated me during the week I told him that he not only needed to wait for me every day after school, but he also needed to hang out with me at least an hour including weekends. I was surprised when he accepted but I wasn't going to complain, for two hours or more that night, we ended up talking about possible future careers and reinforcing, luckily for me, our friendship.

 

-ANOTHER TIME JUMP-

 

Mikasa, Armin and I had decided to go to the beach as a way of celebrating my birthday and that I was finally going to high school, which to get there it had felt like it took an eternity,  we decided to spend the day with all of our closest friends. Once that day finally arrived I had one of the best gifts when I saw something that I had never seen before and it was Levi only wearing swimming trunks,

‘ _beautiful’_  I thought. That's what I saw in him... beauty, the kind that you feel attraction-the kind- you can’t easily hide.

“What's happening brat?”  I felt nervous. I felt I had been found out.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?” he was looking at me and for a second I thought...“You look constipated,” he tells me and what a way to ruin a moment of deep thoughts and feelings.

"If you like to know, I was actually thinking about someone" I explained.

"She must be one hell of a woman if she’s making you look like you have shit stuck and cannot let it out" with a frustrated sigh, I could only think about how is it possible that a person can be so blunt.

"She is really beautiful and she is also very... very good to me if you know what I mean,” I told him trying to make him jealous.

Who was I fooling?

-

 _Little white lies_ , I often told him that I did things with others that were really my fantasies about us. He thinks that I’d dated almost all the girls in our school, which in reality I could count those dates with one hand. And whenever I had told him that I was going to one of my 'dates' I would actually hang out with Armin to cover my lie. 

I don’t know for how long and how many more of these lies I would be able to say. I just know that I don’t want him to find out and lose the little trust I had gained. I’ll keep saying them even if it is for the rest of our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon.
> 
> I hope you’re enjoying reading as much as I enjoy writing this.
> 
> TEAM LEVI GO!!!!! \\(^_^)/


	9. PART I -Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is about to come out! 
> 
> ☻ Well… Part of it. ☺

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI added a few more tags; now let’s go back to business and Thanks 4 sticking with me.

**Trigger warning- * Implied abuse verbal & physical. **

 

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

 

"Levi, are you sure? I don’t think you should be alone." Ivan repeated the question for the fourth time that afternoon. 

"Tch, how many times do I have to say the same thing? I'm the one who has to talk to him. I don't need a sitter" I was starting to feel irritated because I didn't want to talk about the brat anymore. 

"Of that, I don't have the slightest doubt. I know you don't need a sitter, but...well, I know I'm going to hate myself for telling you this, but what I think is happening is that he likes you as more than just friends." the only thing I could do was to raise an eyebrow at his comment since no words came out. 

"No, listen to me, if you think about it better, the boy didn't look very happy when he saw us leaving together" And fucking great, of all the people in this world, he shouldn't be the one insinuating something like that. 

"Do you want me to go and keep trying to find out about Eren’s feelings towards me? Is that what you want? Especially knowing that I went to hell and back to get to this point where I have finally accepted that we can’t-that he only sees me as a friend." 

"No, but I know how much--"

"Fuck. Don’t t even try to start with that, just...don't!" I abruptly interrupted what he was going to say because I already knew where this conversation was headed, and I wasn't going to allow him to continue something that was definitely a closed chapter in my life.  For a couple of minutes, we stayed in relative silence, one deciding what to do and the other thinking about how to solve the 'problem'.  I sighed. "I think it's better for me to leave," and there was no case to continue talking if we both ended up getting upset. 

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bother you. I just want to help you" he paused and I didn't make any attempt to move. I stayed in the same place where we had spent the afternoon, his bed. I was sitting there trying to organize my own thoughts, because _shit_ , Eren’s reaction had confused me enough and Ivan was not helping me.

"I want you to know that you are not alone. I know what it is to lose the people you care about because of misunderstandings or because they see you differently because of your preferences and they just don't understand that you are as normal as any other person with the same rights to express feelings."  Ivan's voice was soft at the end, proving how much he's been through.

“Well, it doesn’t fucking help when you are telling me that the person who, that I-I'm trying to-" I rubbed my face showing my frustration, with my eyes down to nothing in particular and then to him. Then it hit me.

“Maybe, you're right," I said and he looked surprised "Maybe, Eren acted that way, not because of us, he still doesn't know what kind of relationship we have. What I think happened is that he is bothered about the way he found out that I have a friend... you know, someone I hadn't mentioned to him before." We stayed silent for a few more minutes and one of the things that I like about Ivan is that he gave me the time I needed to reach my own conclusions. "I'm overwhelmed thinking about how I'm going to start this talk. Because I feel unsure if the brat is going to be completely fine with -well- us "I finally said, gesturing towards him and me.

"Shit…what he thinks _is_ very important to me and…fuck" Ivan approached me and I let him hold my hand. I knew he was honestly worried because he knew everything about my pathetic crush and I felt like shit for worrying him.

"You think he will not approve of our relationship."

I smiled at the thought. Everything was simpler than it really seemed and I was making it seem worse than it really was, especially knowing how many people love Eren and my answer was more directed towards me than him "No, I know this brat and once I talk to him and explain things, he will become your friend." and I said it with sincerity since I was completely sure that that was going to happen.

"I'll be happy to be his friend. You know I'll do anything to make you happy," Ivan replied, followed by a tender smile and a kiss.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

My dating Ivan was a long time coming.  He also, on the physical aspect, reminded me of my boss and one of my best friends, Erwin.  I met him at the beginning of the semester and we worked together on a few projects, he also did internship jobs in the same place I work and gradually we became sort of friends. 

I found out about his preferences when he confessed his feelings for me and asked me out on a date.  I didn’t feel attracted to him but I wasn’t completely against the idea of dating him. The first time we went out, I was honest with him and I told him that I had feelings for a certain brat and that it was a one-sided thing since my crush was straight.

*A few weeks later after making our relationship official, he shared with me his life story starting at the time when he decided to tell his family and friends about his preferences. How his parents were not supportive, they kicked him out and forgot about their son, and how their so-called 'friends' didn't accept him, and treated him as if he had the worst of the diseases, shutting him completely down, and some of them even hurt him physically*. And finally, how he took the heartbreaking decision to move to a new city to get another chance and find a better life. 

I came to respect this man who had gone through so much and, despite all his troubles, he wanted to find a well-deserved happiness and asked me to do the same with him.  I agreed and told him that it would take time before I would be able to completely give myself into the relationship, that I was probably using him as an escape and that I knew that it was not fair, but at the time it was the only thing could offer. His response was that somehow he was using me too since he felt that he was taking advantage of my situation, but in spite of that, I accepted when he asked me to give ourselves a chance.

 

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

 

“Get the fuck away from him!”

I was literally pushing the guy. I placed myself in the middle of them and I grabbed him by the collar shirt and started to yell at his fucking stupid face.

"DON’T fucking touch him! Do I make myself CLEAR! DON’T fucking go near him” and I punched the son of bitch’ face with such force, he went practically flying.

“What the fuck are you doing brat!”  I heard Levi yelling from behind me and the next thing I saw was him next to the guy on the floor.

"Don't you fucking dare take another step kid or I will not be responsible for my actions and you know it!" He tells me, looking at me with his steely cold eyes.

“What the fuck Levi! What the fuck is happening? Why he… and you were… what the hell Levi? You lied to me. You fucking lie to me all this fucking time. You-fuck this!” All I was seeing was red. I was seething. My body trembling and I just wanted to tear the other guy apart.

"You two need to talk. Is better for me to leave," the guy said while trying to stand.

"No, I will go with you," Levi told him while helping him up.

“Don’t you dare fucking leave, Levi!” I shouted and both looked at me in disbelief. I was ready to fight them, they knew it, and at that moment I only knew that Levi was not going anywhere. "Please, Levi you have to talk to him." the man repeated. Levi took a step backward away from the guy, looking lost and startle an image that I never thought I would see in him. And then he started pacing back and forth probably deciding whether it was best to stay or leave, and after a couple more seconds and with a grunt he finally let the guy go.

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

The previous night I had waited up for Levi until late, too late. And then gave up _"He didn’t spend the night."_  his neighbor told me the next morning when I had gone back looking for him.

That day morning classes were long and blurry. I didn’t pay any attention to any of the lectures.  _Levi, Levi, Levi_ , _where is he? Why didn’t he spend the night in_   _his room? Where? Why? Why? Why?_  All of these questions and yet, I had no answers. I still needed to see the person who was making my heart ache so bad.

When my classes had finally ended, I had decided to go back to my dorm.  I took the long way because I needed to think and walking helps to sort my thoughts. Once I arrived, I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator, that’s when I heard voices and saw what clearly was a couple a flight up in the corner and I couldn’t help thinking that that was the last thing I needed to see. I froze when I heard a familiar voice,  I couldn’t go back or move for a few seconds since my curiosity got the better of me, and I also needed to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating the whole scene. I finally took a few steps up and I was… shocked, were they…

 

_Kissing?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my English is not very good. I know this is not intended to be an award winner story, but anyways, I wanted to thank you for reading this far, I appreciated it.
> 
> ¿(T-T)?
> 
> C U NEXT TIME AND  
> HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!


	10. PART I -Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth. Nothing else but the truth!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year 2018!!!!

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

 

"Let's start, ok... You say that I lied to you and honestly I don't know how you came to that conclusion" there was a pause, a long and tense one. Eren’s impatience face wasn't helping me to find the patience I was trying to muster.

“Bullshit. You said ‘ _no’_ when I asked you about dating someone, remember?” 

“I didn’t... I, I said that we needed to talk, but unfortunately, we didn’t have the time and-” 

“Uh-huh, no, I supposed you had no time because you were too busy fucking with your boy toy, am I wrong?” Eren’s abrupt interruption left me no doubt that there was no way we would have the adult conversation I had planned. "It doesn't make any sense talking to you now shit for brains. We'll try again once you calm down." at the moment I was steering towards the door I felt him grabbing my arm practically yanking me away from it. 

“If you think that I will let you go just like that, you are dead wrong. You have no fucking idea what-” 

“Fucking idea of what brat!?  What is it? Please do tell me. Oh… no, wait.  Are you so shallow that you are upset because per your own words I’m fucking a _he,_ not a  _she_ like you do... and is it because, oh yeah! It would be the ‘normal’ or better yet the ‘moral’ thing to do. Is that it brat?" 

Losing the little patience I had, I pulled away from his tight grasp and when he remained silent, I continued: "You are going to be one of those assholes and fucking judge me and tell me that dicks are bad for me because I also have a dick.  And that my soul will burn in the depths of hell because I am a sick son of a bitch. What's next kid, ah yes, you are also going excuse your fucking sex appeal because of your pretty face and that having a pretty face is good for you because, with that fact, you are allowed to fuck all the women that throw themselves at you, isn't that what you do anyway. And that is a reason that makes it fucking acceptable for society and for any deity in which you and the rest of the people in your world believe in. Am I right?" 

I was waiting for an answer. He wasn't looking at me, his gaze was directed to the floor as if it were the most fucking interesting thing in the world. It hurt me to think that he had simply ignored everything I had told him and finally after what seemed an eternity he turned his gaze towards me and I must admit that I wasn't prepared for what I saw in his eyes. Pain and a deep sadness that I had never seen before. 

"You have no idea of my true feelings for you Levi. The truth is that I feel attracted to you. Levi, I like you."

 

Fuck my life. 

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

 

I knew I needed time to have _that_ conversation with Eren and the topic wasn't going to be very easy. I was fucking pissed at the way he found out about my relationship, especially when I had already made the decision to tell him about it. Now, I am faced with a totally different situation from which it’s disappointing to realize how little I really knew the person that was standing in front of me. I recognize that I expected a little reluctance, I was even afraid of hurting our friendship since I had hidden something from him that was important for my life. But in the end, I guess I was wrong.

 

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

"You what? You know you're being a complete ass and you don't know what the hell you're saying. I don't... fuck." I wasn't sure if at that moment Levi didn't believe me or if it was easier for him not to "We'll talk later... not now. I can't deal with this today, but when we both cool our heads and th-"

"I know what I'm saying, Levi. I know that this feeling goes beyond friendship." I interrupted his outburst as I was trying to keep him from leaving. I was fighting angry tears because I felt pain from what I had just heard, for what he thought of me. I needed to tell him, it was now or never. And, against all my fears, I wasn't going to let him go without telling him everything.

"I know that I don’t want you fucking nor with guys or girls. I don’t want to share you with any…fuck, I don’t want anyone looking, touching or even thinking about you. Levi, you are my…you are mi-”

"Don't say anything else, kid. Don't mess with me. Don't even act like I'm...shit, this isn't happening." Levi was looking like a caged wild beast, passing back and forth desperate to find a way out. The only thing missing from the whole scene was to see him covering his ears as to not hear any more.  When he finally calmed down, he just leaned against the wall both hands made into a fist and I could see the white in his knuckles from the pressure.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? You never told me that you like... if I had known.  I'm sure ... fuck ... fuck this." I felt frustrated with what was happening and also felt like I was fighting a losing battle especially when I was trying to read his face and I wasn't getting a clear signal of his feelings. If anything, I was sure that stopping was not an option.

"Tell me, what the hell you want me to do? This is not something I can turn off. And if I'm confusing you, imagine how damn confused I am too" his silence was hurtful; it seemed like I was in a dream or rather a nightmare "You fucked this for hiding something so important, you know it. I know you do. If I'm hurting you it's the last thing I wanted to do, but what I am confessing is true and it hurts me too."

Levi hadn't moved an inch off the wall. His arms crossed, his gaze directed towards nothing and his face still showed no signs of believing any of my words. "This is not happening. I don't know." was all that he murmured and listening to his words, I understood his conflict and decided it was best to let him settle things on his own, let everything sink in.  The only thing I could do at the moment was to wait and think how sad it is to have the person you love so close and yet so far. 

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

 

I never imagined that knowing Levi’s truth would hurt so much. I never thought that telling him my truth would make me feel that I was losing everything I had fought for so long. I always waited for a sign but I got nothing.  I always did everything I could to get some kind of reaction from him, something that would have given me a clue, but the only thing I got was the confirmation that it was not meant to be. 

The one thing I was certain is that it hadn’t been easy for me to be accepted as his friend because it took me a long time to finally feel that he was somewhat comfortable with me, and because our friendship felt always so fragile I grew scared, terrified even with the idea of one day completely losing it. I had accepted that we were only going to be friends for the rest of our lives and I was ok with it, as long as I was allowed to stay close. I guess I was wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liking it so far... THANKS AGAIN.
> 
> ☻ ☺ ☻ ☺ ☻ ☺ ☻


	11. PART I -Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to get this one out... it was a must, a plus, a need. 
> 
> Enter other Characters.
> 
> FYI- I want to state that Hange's character for the purpose of this plot will be treated as a female (you'll understand why).
> 
> Well, let's proceed... \\(^-^)/

"Thank you for helping me with the new employee's orientation."

I looked at Erwin giving him the same questioning expression from this morning when he asked me for help. "Spit it out shitty brows" I knew that his presence was more than a simple visit.

"Well, can a man not only come over and visit his best friend but also one of his best employee's, and of course, express the deep gratitude for all the good work he’s doing?" leaning back in my chair I shook my head "coming from you, being here, especially with all the crap that is happening with the opening of the second branch ... this is Hange’s doing, isn't it?"

"I must admit that there is also a bit of that and she's worried as I am." I knew that his presence had much more than just the casual visit since I hadn't seen him for months. I wasn’t upset because I understood his concern.

"Don't worry, I never did and I’ll never let my work suffer only for some personal problems" with a more serious look Erwin changed his position in the chair to get more comfortable and every time he made this gesture I knew that a lecture was coming. "I know and that's not why I'm worried. Levi, Hange told me about those mysterious phone calls you're receiving here and on your cell phone that you've refused to take and I-"

"I'm not involved in anything suspicious. I don't have a mafia or a gang coming after me, nobody is in danger here. I can assure you" Erwin seems satisfied with my explanation and I could guess that he was also thinking of a better way to get me to tell him what was happening to me. He’s that kind of person who isn’t satisfied until he gets to the bottom of things, but I'm also good at keeping my private life private.

"I ... we, the people that care about your well-being want to help you. I'm not here to judge you or give you lectures.  I want you to know that I trust you. I trust you with my company, with everything I got, including with my life-"

"But" I interrupted; He sighed "but ... I don't think you trust me enough to let me help you, when there's something that bothers you, I trust you know we're here for you."

“I’m going through a lot of shit in this moment of my life. I won't lie about that, but then again who doesn't." I looked at Erwin straight in the eyes while trying to find the right words to assure him that I could handle my personal and professional life without one interfering with the other. "Erwin, when I'm at work I can forget all those...I don't know, issues? and I'm fine... but as far as the phone calls, even if it sounds crazy what I'm going to tell you, is just about ghosts from my past that came back to haunt me, but rest assured that it doesn't represent any kind of threat to me" he gave me a knowing smile and I knew he wasn't going to pressure me further "I promise you that when I’m ready to talk about it you will be the first to know." When he nodded as a sign of understanding and respect for my decision I changed the subject "How are the negotiations going?"

"Mike and Nanaba are on it as we speak. If everything goes according to plan we'll open a month from today. Hange will come back here to help you and I'll stay there for the rest of the year." The mood had changed compared to our previous conversation and I knew that talking about the opening of the second branch excited him.

"I'm sure it will affect you and fou-Hange" he laughed catching up my slip "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend the boss's girlfriend" He just shook his head.

"Everyone is ready for you sir," my secretary told us, and that was our signal that we had to go talk to the newbies and as we're heading out I gave Erwin a small gesture with my head as a way of saying _thank you_ and by now he knows that I'm grateful for all his support without having the need to say a word.

 

-

"If someone has any more questions feel free to call us or send us a message. You have our contact information in your packages and before I finish I want to welcome all of you to our team" Erwin told the new group, ending the orientation. "Do you have anything else to say?" he asked me and I nodded "before leaving, make sure you go to HR and get your IDs that should be ready and, like my boss, I also want to welcome all of you to our team," I concluded and I had forgotten how stressful the orientations can be, although there were only a few people, I was glad that I didn't have to be in them so often.

 

-

Later that day I heard a knock on the door and had a lot of backup work due to the previous meetings, but my secretary had said that this person, who was one of our new employees, needed to see me and that it seemed important. I couldn't tell the person that I wasn't available especially when Erwin was still in the building; at least if I needed his help I could call him if necessary.

 

"Come in," I said.

 

“…”

 

“Rivaille?”

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

I had a very difficult week not only personally but also at work. Hange left and I was in charge. Now I was the Commercial Operations Manager, a position I have been in less than a year, the same one that she previously had and now all her attention was needed to help with the process of opening the second branch in Calaneth one of our neighboring city.

I started working for Smith's and Associates when I moved to this city to finish college; the part of the associates is with some others who share Erwin’s dream. He is a tall blonde who not only has a good physical appearance but also the brain and one of the few that I can call a friend. Erwin is good at business, so good that the company he founded almost five years ago was now growing and because of that, I have so much work which at this crucial moment in my life I don't know whether to call it a blessing or part of a curse.

 

 

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

"Yes, I'm fine ... of course, I'm eating ... no, I'll let you know" Armin gave me a sympathetic look because he had already gone through the same phone interrogation a few minutes ago.

"I'll stay here with Armin for the three-day weekend... I'll call you as soon as I get back" and with that and a few other ‘suggestions’ from Mikasa, which despite being miles away, she still arranged to give them to me every time we talk.

"I'm glad we can spend the weekend together and don't get me wrong, but why didn't you go see Mikasa?" Armin asked and I had decided to spend time with him, because - well because I honestly didn't want to face my sister with all the things that were happening to me these days.

"I need time Armin” was all I could say with a harsh exhale trying not to show my true emotional state. "How about we go to dinner and then to the movies tonight?" he suggested, getting the point that I wasn't going to say more, he started checking his cell phone, I assumed looking for somewhere to go.

"You already know that she already has a boyfriend, right." I could see perfectly how my words tensed him and I didn't say it as a question but as an affirmation. "Yes, and before saying anything else, you know it wasn't my place to tell you" and, of course, I was not accusing him. But I know Armin, keeping secrets, especially one as big as Mikasa’s boyfriend must have been really difficult.

"I understand, I'm not mad at you. Do you know who he is?" And only with his facial expression, I knew I wasn't going to like his answer (he is _that_ transparent). "Actually ... you know him too" and I was right, I didn't like where this was going.

"This is the first time I've heard about the guy and what do you mean I know him?" 

"Please don't get upset," Armin says and it's funny how difficult it is not to do something that you were being asked because I was already getting upset and the reason is that out of all the douchebags out there, there was one in this great universe that I couldn't stand.

"It's ... Jean Kirstein" and those two words gave me the perfect excuse to kill... "Kill them all" to get rid of all the scums and good for nothing horse faces in this world. I'm sure many would thank me if I did.  

"He really is a good guy. And above all, I'm sure he likes her, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her." Armin’s words were clearly a way of trying to make me change the worst impression I have of a human being, but they weren’t enough to make me change my mind.

"That's why Mikasa didn’t say his name. Why are you telling me then? He pinched the top of his nose and adjusted his reading glasses, and went on with his explanations: "We talked and I convinced Mikasa to let me tell you who he was, because every time you 'talk' you both are too hotheaded and I'm sure if she was the one who told you about him it was going to be the beginning of World War III.  I couldn't let that happen. How could I. Hasn't the world suffered enough?"

Armin looked at me and without saying anything, he was simply telling me _'you know I'm right'_ and then he finished "Also, this way you would have enough time to process all the information and so the next time you meet, you two can talk in a more civilized way." I hated when Armin was right and I also hated that I had to accept this person in my sister’s life especially knowing that I will need her blessing for what it was about to be the beginning of mine. 

 

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

I shoulder to cry on, a person that is there for you unconditionally, someone that is not going to judge you, I can go on and on trying to describe what Armin is to me, the friend, the brother, the family.

Mikasa, Armin and I have always been together. We have gone through a lot and we have supported each other when times have been difficult and painful in our lives. Separating at the end of high school was one of the hardest decisions in our lives because we all wanted to pursue our dreams, even if that meant taking different paths. Armin was not only studying to become a software developer but he was also working as an intern at one of the most prestigious companies in our country. Mikasa decided to move to Trost city to become a lawyer which it wasn’t a surprise for us since she has a high sense of justice. And for myself well, I like the computer field but my inclination goes towards a technician rather than software, and with that said, here it is where we all are, keeping in touch by phone call, text messages, Skype or sometimes like this one just hopping on a train and two hours later sitting in my best friend’s couch talking about a horse face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ I want to thank you for reading. I'm happy to know that there are some Peps that like this FIC ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
> 
> T-T


	12. PART I -Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has a question and Eren gives him an answer.

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**LEVI**

"Do you think it's a good idea shitty glasses? I don't want to push this. And we're still trying to adjust to things after all."

Hange had not only returned, but also because her boyfriend was miles away, now more than ever she was attached to me like a leech that always manages to absorb all my energy with just a few minutes of interaction, but for some reason and for lack of adequate rest, I found myself asking her about relationship advice. Fucking great.

"Listen, if you don't do this you'll never know." Besides, didn't you tell me that even trying to get back to your previous routine is becoming difficult?" I could only nod as a confirmation because that was _our_ reality and after inhaling all the good oxygen she continued: "My advice is that you don't waste more time and take the next step, even small steps if you want to take it easy." I knew she was right, but I also thought that let things take their course was probably the best.

"Today is perfect! We've already bought all the things you need and the only thing left to do is get that gorgeous piece of ass to accept and that way you'll finally fuck all you want. See... easy, huh! " I could only sigh at her choice of words and I was definitely desperate because I was considering her shitty idea of a romantic dinner to woo a brat.

"Think about it Levi, this is the only way you'll get the answer you need to get on with your life," Hange said, interrupting my train of thought. "Get on with my life? ... rather, have a life!" I thought, but it was too late when I realized that I had said it out loud. And hiding what I most wanted and needed at this moment was getting difficult for me, especially a stable life, and that is something that in no second of my entire existence had an idea of how it felt.

“Well, a little push will not hurt anyone. Levi, I know that you try to hide all your emotions and feelings, and you keep forgetting that if there is someone who can read you in this world well enough is me." Hange's face said it all but the words she said after was what finally convinced me that I didn't have any more excuses "Please, I know you need this, and you need to know. I don't think it's healthy for you, not even for Eren, to continue just pretending that everything is fine or that everything is just as before because it's not like that and you know I'm right."

"Okay, I'll do it and I'll straighten this mess once and for all."  Later that day, I sent Eren a text message asking if he had time to meet for dinner that night. 

This is it.

 

~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~ 

Ivan and I came to a mutual agreement to end our relationship and that happened a few days after my "talk" with Eren. And during that time Eren went away for the weekend to spend it with his best friend with the excuse that we both needed time to think. When he came back we had a couple of conversations about nothing in particular, but neither of us dared to say a word about what had happened.

The brat and I were trying to adapt to our situation; we talked but we didn't say much and our conversations were about normal things, work, school and anything else that obviously prevented us from mentioning the issue at hand in which seemed that if the wrong word was said it could definitely break us, and that was exactly what neither of us wanted. We were desperately trying to return to our normal routine, but it was more than obvious that we were failing miserably.

Finally one afternoon at work and after many hours of classes, homework and the fact that I had hardly slept the night before, Hange practically made me confess everything that was happening. I blame the lack of sleep that I had turned completely vulnerable and was making me talk like a teenager with low self-esteem who was not sure if the pretty boyfriend still wanted a relationship, fucking seriously, all I was missing was the shitty flower and me tearing the petals one by one. And then she had the brilliant idea that what we needed was a little push and that way all my problems will be solved.  After too much debating, I decided to take the risk and go with it...it was now or _never_.

 

-

 _'I like you' ..._ those words. I wanted to hear those words coming from him to me for so long that once he said them instead of becoming the happiest person in this fucking world for some reason they are making me feel... I had a question and I needed an answer because something doesn’t feel right and I hate myself for having these thoughts.

  

**∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞**

**EREN**

 

“I’m I too early?”

 When I entered, I was surprised by what I saw. Levi had decorated a small table for two, with candles and a dim light and everything seemed ... romantic. _"Are we having a romantic dinner?"_ I thought and didn't want to express it out loud for fear of making a mistake, but my heart was already beating uncontrollably. I felt overwhelmed since I had no idea what this whole scene meant.

 “No, you are fine, and make yourself comfortable. I hope you’re hungry, dinner is almost ready”

His cooking is one of the best I've had in my entire life, but this time, I was too nervous to eat. "Are you okay?" He asked after a while. We hadn't said much and, as usual, what little we had talked had to do with what we’d done during the day. 

"Don't tell me brat you couldn't wait and you went to get that grossed excuse of food and now you're not even hungry." I shook my head without saying a word or looking at him and the rest of the meal we ate it mostly in silence. At that moment everything that I wanted, all that I needed was to say something, anything, but nothing seemed to fit. Levi also kept silence probably having noticed my dilemma and when we finished dinner and after helping him with the dishes, we went to the couch where he sat close to me ... too close.

"Eren, are you ok? You just barely ate and for you, that means a lot. You're too quiet and I believe I understand ... but I also need to know what you're thinking" Levi called me by my name, lately it's always 'brat', 'kid' or anything else, but he'd rarely said my name anymore, and the way he said it along with his expression I felt it was getting serious and I was desperately trying to act normal. Being alone, talking and sitting on the same couch, we had done these thousands of times, we have even spent many nights together just talking. But I was hipper aware of what this moment meant to me, but most important were all the things I could lose.

Suddenly, I felt a warm hand grab my cold and sweaty ones and his other hand directed towards my chin that without any effort lifted my head making my eyes meet his. The world seemed to stop. The feeling like vertigo began in the pit of my stomach and spread throughout my body. I could see when he was getting closer and closer to me. I could see how everything was happening in slow motion and I felt hypnotized by the most beautiful silver color in those eyes, and this was really happening! One of my dreams since high school was about to come true. I thought briefly of pinching myself but I was afraid to wake up and I hadn't realized that I had my eyes closed when I felt the ghost of his breath on my lips, my eyes opened immediately and drifted to his lips. Those lips that always look so soft and they were only inches away from mine...

"I, I have to go. I'm sorry. I don't...please. Let's talk later, okay?

 

"..."

  

~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~

I received a message from Levi at noon asking me to have dinner with him in his room. I accepted in the blink of an eye, writing "yes, I'll be there" as fast as I could, and since then I couldn't help feeling nervous. I know he was only inviting me to dinner, not a marriage proposal, but I couldn't help but feel that it was a big step for us. I had different scenes figured out and I rehearse thousand of possible answers and I even asked Armin for advice, because he always knows what to say. Armin is the person I will go to every time something happens to me and the fact that I told him about the recent events of my life, I couldn't keep it a secret, not from him. His advice was to let things happen, for me to say what was in my heart, but it was easier said than done.

I knew I was having an anxiety attack because I didn't know what to expect, what to do, how to act on our date, our first date! The rest of my day after his invitation I had constantly thought about what would happen if I messed this up. But I also thought that it could be the beginning of all my fantasies to come true. All those moments thinking about him, about us, was too overwhelming because it was not just another date, he was my crush, my fantasy, the person I had to fight for, the love of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got this far, thanks for reading |(^.^)|

**Author's Note:**

> This FIC was created in 2014 and I deleted it because I wasn't too happy that my idea was not all there. However, I edited the story in 2017. The essence of my idea is still there and I hope you enjoy it better and I want to thank everyone that gave the first version a chance.


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